Hurt, Resentment and Hate. Oh My!

Words of truth from a local church

It happened…again.

Hurt feelings. Yet again.

This time it's not really about something that happened to me personally, but to someone I love. An injustice directed at someone else. Simple empathy for their sad situation and the revisiting of my underdog issues. But my feelings are bruised.

I know you may be thinking, she sounds like a big sissy.

I don't blame you. I've said that to myself too. Often.

I ask myself, "Why does this keep happening? Are my feelings just out there exposed like a pink flamingo at the North Pole? Is it only me or do others experience their feelings frequently smashed like fingers slammed in the car door?"  

Great questions.

I'd love to know the answers--but how can I find out if I've only walked in my shoes? And how in the world do you stop the re-slamming of the car door of life? More importantly, do I want to really become the kind of person who doesn't feel?

More great questions.

But this time I implemented a new approach.

My default way of coping is to start circle thinking or over-analyzing the situation like a cow chewing its cud. And without fail, those sad, disappointed, hurt feelings rise in my soul again. BAM!  The door slams. Then the resentment increases against others and I have to stop myself from wanting revenge. Revenge is where I draw the line. I know better.

Besides, how can I be who God wants me to be if I harbor resentment toward others?

So here's the new approach.

Every time the memory of this situation rises again, I just start praying. For the underdog. For the ones who inflicted the hurt. For my feelings and attitude.

A quiet, peace drifts inside me like a gentle breeze at the beach. Refreshing, calm and sweet.

No slamming. No blaming. No circle thinking.  

Just peace.

I now realize the answers to the questions don’t really matter. What matters in the end is what I do with those hurt feelings. Live under their torment or seek Peace. Re-circle and suffer or re-circle and pray. Chew on it or grow from it.

Romans 12:12 tells us, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

Ten powerful words to heal hurt feelings and prevent resentment. I have no control over slamming doors, but I can choose my response. Another great place to choose wisely.

What about you? Felt any doors slam lately? What's helped you along the journey?

Thanks for sharing.  

Tammy Van Gils is a writer, blogger, and co-owner of S & N Paint Contractors, Inc. She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and Word Weavers International. In the Richmond area, she is a member of The Christian Writers Hub and Word Weavers Richmond. Visit her Facebook Page, Pinterest and Twitter @Tammyvangils.