Default Modes

I'm not a psychologist, but I am fascinated by how our minds work, what influences our thinking, and how that affects our behavior. I believe to be healthy physically, emotionally and mentally, we must always be on an expedition to understand ourselves and what makes us tick. 

Lately, I've been considering our natural default mode. You know, like our normal settings, or reactions, or view as we engage life. For example (to only name a few)--

• A super accommodating default. They agree to do everything but then don't follow through or later back out because they are over-extended.
•  Avoid confrontation default. They will tell a direct lie or even avoid an issue completely to steer clear of having any conflict present.  
• Off-the-chart positive default. You'd think this is great, right? But instead, they live life avoiding pain or denying reality, thus they don't deal with their issues.

My natural default mode is negative, cautious, and questioning.

For example, if you shared an idea 

with me, the first thing I can do is give you all the reasons why I doubt it will work—the flaws. Or I may wonder why you're sharing the idea with me at all—do you expect me to help. Or I may question all the logistics—clarifying your steps and assumptions.

Because I'm aware this is my default mode, I complete most of this analysis in my head and try to halt the negativity from coming out of my mouth. Sometimes I succeed, but often I fail (especially with family). 

Recently, someone shared an idea with me. And I thought, "I don't have time for that. What is the real reason they are asking me? Do I even have the skills to do my part?" So I agreed to think about their proposition and get back to them.

Later as I pondered the request further, the Holy Spirit kindly reminded me, "This is exactly what you've been praying for." And smack my knee and call me silly, but that is so true. Here God opened the door I'd been praying for and my negative default mode almost made me slam it shut. Crazy!

Of course, I later responded in the affirmative to the request because if God opened a door, I surely want to walk through it especially since His timing is always perfect. Knowing my default mode helps me to be better used by God and more authentic and positive in all my relationships.

What about you? Do you know your default mode? Has it ever hindered your life journey? Please share. We can gain knowledge and wisdom from each other's life expeditions.

Living the Garden Life, Tammy Van Gils plants words and sprouts insightful stories blooming with hope. She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and a guest blogger.