Questioning the Role

Have you ever been in a situation, wondering what am I doing here?

Most of us have been, at least once.

Scratching our head, biting our lip, and asking ourselves deep questions.

How in the world did I get here? Who do I think I am? What can I possibly do to help?

The sun shone brightly against an intense blue sky which reminded me of home. But when I looked at the countryside, I'm yanked back to reality.

The local vegetation, poverty stricken villages and police checkpoints searching for contraband prove that I'm really far from home.

You see back in 2003, I traveled to southern Brazil on a church mission trip. Seated between a small, Brazilian carpenter and an English missionary in an antiquated van, I secretly questioned my circumstances. 

I mean really, how in the world can I make a difference in the lives of people on another continent?

I'm a mom, wife, daughter, sister, and small business owner from Ashland, VA. I'm not a college graduate and never attended seminary. And here I am more than five thousand miles away from home in a foreign country where I need help to carry on a simple conversation, heading to a city I've never been before, and doubt will ever return.  

And then it happened.

This overwhelming sensation hit and my environment suddenly seemed surreal. 

I felt like a movie star in the middle of a scene. I envisioned Robert Redford pulling up beside us in a muddy jeep. Smiling handsomely, he removes his jungle hat and salutes just as the music swells and the day brightens.

A sense of peace filled me. 

I knew in that moment, I was exactly where God wanted me to be. Seated between these two men in an old van heading to an unknown city to do His work. Gratitude and humility flooded my heart.

He sent the vision to remind me that before I am a—mom, wife, daughter, sister or small business owner—I am His.

I am to be His servant, a missionary to spread the good news of Jesus Christ. 

Laying brick for a future Baptist church

After all, He wrote the script, created the stage, and knows the ending. And yes, my role in His movie may be a small one, but when I allow Him to be the director, incredible scenes are created to reach the lost.

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10 NIV

What about you? Have you ever been in a situation, wondering what am I doing here? What starring missionary role has God cast you? Don't be shy. Please share your journey.  

Living the Garden Life, Tammy Van Gils plants words and sprouts insightful stories blooming with hope. She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers. She's honored to be a guest blogger and a contributor to The Wonders of Nature Devotion Book, (Dec 2016) and So God Made a Dog: 90 Devotions for Dog People (July 2017) Worthy Inspired.