Tough Love

Have you ever had to practice tough love?

Most of us have at some point.

Like when we have a family member who makes mistakes one right after another, usually dragging us into their drama. Or when we are wrongly blamed for someone else's bad choices which we had nothing to do with. Or other people's addictions cause hardships on everyone with no sign of change on the horizon. The reasons are endless.

But practicing tough love, is tough.

It's tough to enforce distance from a loved one. Tough to say, "No, I can't help you. You've used me for the last time." Tough to sit back and watch as someone spirals down deeper into pain and suffering because of his / her life choices. It's tough to watch and wait for the eventual rock bottom to hit.

This made me wonder what Jesus would do.

Then I thought of the Rich Young Man. This powerful example is found in three of the four Gospels. (Matthew 19:16-30, Mark 10:17-31, Luke 18:18-29)

The young man is seeking what good thing he must do to get eternal life. Jesus instructs him to follow the commandments. The young man says, "All these I have kept. What else do I lack?"

Mark's account tells us that Jesus looked at him and loved him. Then Jesus tells him to sell his possessions, give the money to the poor, and then come follow him.

The man leaves sad because he has great wealth.

Jesus responds with how difficult it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Jesus knew the young man's heart—that his priorities are his wealth. 

Jesus offered him the chance to be a follower but the cost was too high for the young man. Jesus watched him walk away sad.

And remember Jesus loved him. That's tough love.

Sometimes loving someone will not be enough to fix everything that is broken. Or to promote healthy choices in their life. Or to be able to win over a powerful addiction.

Sometimes we have to step back and protect ourselves from their destruction. 

That is tough to do. In the meanwhile, we still need to keep loving them and praying for them.

You may be shaking your head and thinking, "I don't think I can be that tough."

After the young man walked off, Jesus says, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." We can't save ourselves or anyone else, but with God all things are possible.

It is possible for the lost to find their way. It is possible for us to practice tough love. Because with God all things are possible.

So hang on. Even though it feels overwhelming, this too shall pass. Hunker down in your relationship with God and let Him make the impossible, possible.

What do you think? Do you have any advice for practicing tough love? Your insight may be helpful to someone on their journey.

Tammy Van Gils plants words and grows insightful stories blooming with hope. She is a thriving survivor of abuse, abandonment and adversity. How? By the Master Gardener's grace, the Vine's love, and the Advocate's renewal—emotionally and spiritually. She is sowing life with her husband of 35 years, a Yorkie Poo named Moose, and a dozen chickens. She is a member of the American Christian Fiction Writers. She's honored to be a guest blogger and also a contributor to The Wonders of Nature Devotion Book, Let the Earth Rejoice Devotions, So God Made a Dog, Worthy Inspired and Short and Sweet Too, Grace Publishing.